Tag Archives: Bible

Resolutions…

It is a new year, so we are all supposed to stop and make resolutions, right?!  I think there has been a movement in the last couple of years to try to make more realistic resolutions, but I still seem to be reading some over the top ones.  Either way, I am always curious to stop and hear what others want to see change in their lives.  I know there are things I want to see change in my life – I just do not know that I want to call it a resolution, as I do not have much control over them.  Here is my current, honest list (brief first, reasoning to follow)of, for lack of better words, resolutions…

  1. Find a new place to call my church home
  2. Go to Thailand (and of course, ride an elephant while I am there)
  3. Better respect for my body
  4. Read more, and actually finish the books I start
  5. Start dating my future spouse

So, we will start from the beginning of the list.  I want to first say I am very thankful to the Lord for BBC.  It is where I became a believer because John Piper saw the need for a stronger college ministry at his church.  He led the movement to bring Campus Outreach to Minneapolis.  It is through those specific events that the Lord chose to use them to work in my heart and first reveal Himself to me.  For that, I will forever be grateful – it literally changed my life.  However, that does not mean that it is always going to be a perfect fit for me – so, the search has begun for me to find a new place to call home – maybe not tomorrow and maybe not forever.  So, I am still currently a member at BBC and will stay in my small group until the time is ready for me to commit to a new place.  I just know in my heart that this is what I need – and who knows, maybe the process will lead me back to BBC, but for now this is my biggest resolution as I feel it has clearly been laid on my heart.  As one friend plead with me, “Please do not throw the baby [literally – baby Jesus] out with the bath water,” because he wants me to be walking with the Lord in a year from now, which looks like may best be done at a different church home that better ministers to me.

Number two is fairly simple – go to Thailand to visit my dear friend, Laura.  Putting it on paper makes it more real to plan for.  I cannot wait to get over there – as I have wanted to go to that part of the world for thirteen or fourteen years now – and the opportunity has finally presented itself.  Pretty excited, especially to get to ride an elephant in it’s natural environment (versus the circus when I was a little girl).

Three just finally made it on my list after sitting and thinking about others’ resolutions.  I mean sure, I am a girl – so who wouldn’t want to lose a few pounds?!  But it is so much more than that – when I think about having better respect for my body.  In 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 it says, “Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.”  So, with that I think about wanting to make decisions that honor the Lord with my body because He is dwelling in me.  I do not want to break that intimacy with Him by running to other idols, which in 2012 played out more clearly in physical things that impacted my body negatively.  Simply abstaining from the things that hurt me is not the necessary solution, as it changes the behavior but does not get to the heart behind it.  So, this is one resolution that I am leaning fully on the Lord to cultivate a spirit in me that wants to fight to have deeper unity with Him over momentary pleasures in this world that break intimacy with him.

I used to read all the time.  It was one of the sweetest parts of my week.  Sneaking away to a coffee shop to get lost in books that challenged my mind and stretched my thoughts.  It stirred my affections for the Lord so much.  Not that it is a cure all, but even the little bit I read over the holidays revealed to me I need to go back to this – as it ministered to my soul so much.  So, I am going to try to get some more reading in, which will start with TrueFaced, The Calvary Roadand Mark Driscoll’s new book, Who Do You Think You Are?  I have a couple other books I also want to get to, but for now I think this is a good starting point – take me back to who I am in Christ.  I think remembering my true identity will deal with the heart, and Lord willing, lead to my hands to live out better respect for my body – as they are so closely related.  Behavior can only be managed for so long, this is needing some deep heart work, which is only going to happen by the Spirit doing some work – and me wanting to let the Lord do that work.

Oh, and well five is to put a smile on your face – and for me to be honest and vulnerable.  I know that many see me as this independent woman, who likes to play off that she does not need a man.  And honestly, that statement is very true – I do not need a man and I like to do a lot of things on my own.  I have been pretty independent the majority of my life, but that does not mean I have to be exclusively independent.  However, I do still want one and not just anyone – I want a man who I respect, who is pursuing the Lord – by no means perfect, but willing to come alongside me in this life so we can help one another come into a deeper union with Christ and see Jesus more clearly.  It will be messy, but I still there would be some pretty great parts.  This is also one of those resolutions that I have zero control over, but now as my readers you know – so feel free to pray, and dare I say even match make?!!  Eah, I am open to that…I think…

So, there we have it.  My resolutions for 2013.  I want all of them to be grounded in being resolved to seek the Lord more – I do not want any of these just because, but rather I want these to be means to know my true lover more.

Do you do the whole resolution thing?  What are your 2013 resolutions?

Much love,

B

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Suffering is Not the End…

The last month and a half has been harder.  Some due to it being the holidays.  Some due to other circumstances going on around me.  But mostly due to what goes on internally in my mind.  Now, we all know that I enjoy personality tests, but only when they help us understand ourselves more and not just be a place to box someone in.  Thus, reading about INFJ’s has been helpful as of late.  Things I have read that have made me laugh because they are so true of me, but really have help get some levity to the far too often brevity…

“creative, smart, focus on fantasy more than reality, attracted to sad things, fears doing the wrong thing, observer, avoidant…” –similarminds.com on the INJF.  Oh look – attracted to sad things…makes a little more sense that my default is to go inside my mind and think about heavier things that are sad.  I always want to talk about heavy things – and hate the mundane chat.  I am guilty of thinking I am better because I think about real things – but I am not.  All I am is prideful, and that is sick and messed up.  Jesus had to die for my pride.

“Life is not necessarily easy for the INFJ, but they are capable of great depth of feeling and personal achievement.”
personalitypage.com on the INFJ.  I think it is not easy because the way we are wired does not make it easy – hello, attracted to sad things will bring more hardship.

“INFJs are deeply concerned about their relations with individuals as well as the state of humanity at large. They are, in fact, sometimes mistaken for extroverts because they appear so outgoing and are so genuinely interested in people — a product of the Feeling function they most readily show to the world. On the contrary, INFJs are true introverts, who can only be emotionally intimate and fulfilled with a chosen few from among their long-term friends, family, or obvious “soul mates.” While instinctively courting the personal and organizational demands continually made upon them by others, at intervals INFJs will suddenly withdraw into themselves, sometimes shutting out even their intimates. This apparent paradox is a necessary escape valve for them, providing both time to rebuild their depleted resources and a filter to prevent the emotional overload to which they are so susceptible as inherent “givers.” As a pattern of behavior, it is perhaps the most confusing aspect of the enigmatic INFJ character to outsiders, and hence the most often misunderstood — particularly by those who have little experience with this rare type.” –typelogic.com.  Okay, that was a long paragraph – but so insightful for me in light of how I have been the last few months.

And there was another quote that I found about the INFJ, but cannot find it now as I write this.  So let me summarize, it went a little like this, “INFJ’s are hard to lead.”  Oh my, how so many people could attest to that statement.  It went on to explain that the INFJ can be led, it is just not always easy to do.  Far too accurate.  Sanctification needed?  Yes.  (Will not get on my lovely little soapbox here, but this is part of my driving force why I love my independence in singleness.  Do I idolize?  Yes, sadly I do.  Not all the time, but I know I cling to that far more than the cross and trusting God.  Work in progress.  Thankful God is doing the work and enabling me by the Holy Spirit to be proactive in this fight.)

So what really got me thinking about this?  Well, this morning I was reading Romans 5:1-11 because a friend who cares for my soul pointed me there.  He saw how depressed I have been and wanted to offer me some hope, but more wanted to point me back to truth.  The reality is as believers we will suffer this side of heaven – no way around that.  It will look different for each of us.  Suffering is not the end though – that is what I far too often forget.  And it leaves me so defeated.  I look at the non-believers and get so confused because they seem to have more joy than I do.  Then it hit me this morning – that is because their joy is here and now, in the moment – so they do have joy in the moment, but it is not lasting.  For believers – we have had our eyes opened to the reality of this world and see that real lasting joy is not here.  Thus, I can enjoy things but they are mere shadows.  Now, not all believers are depressed, in fact I would argue that we shouldn’t be – some of us are still just really learning how to rejoice in suffering (hi, prone to sad things…may be starting a few steps back on this one than the person that is king or queen of optimism…).  Suffering produces endurance.  That is so true – the more we go through the stronger we are.  But this is not because of what we have done – it is because of what He has done for us – and what He has given us the grace and strength to walk through.  Endurance produces character.  And character produces hope – hope in God.  Not hope in ourselves.  That is where the Christian and non-Christian disagree.

These are still thoughts that are formulating, but I just had to get them out of my mind and thought I might as well share them here.  If you have any thoughts, please share them.  If you have anything encouraging for me – or any of the other readers, please share them.  Thankful that I can be honest here (I do love fashion, but that is just a sliver of what I really think about daily.  It is just a way to express my love for beautiful things…).

Happy New Year, friends!

Much love,

B

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Filed under Devotional, Personality, Thoughts