The last month and a half has been harder. Some due to it being the holidays. Some due to other circumstances going on around me. But mostly due to what goes on internally in my mind. Now, we all know that I enjoy personality tests, but only when they help us understand ourselves more and not just be a place to box someone in. Thus, reading about INFJ’s has been helpful as of late. Things I have read that have made me laugh because they are so true of me, but really have help get some levity to the far too often brevity…
“creative, smart, focus on fantasy more than reality, attracted to sad things, fears doing the wrong thing, observer, avoidant…” –similarminds.com on the INJF. Oh look – attracted to sad things…makes a little more sense that my default is to go inside my mind and think about heavier things that are sad. I always want to talk about heavy things – and hate the mundane chat. I am guilty of thinking I am better because I think about real things – but I am not. All I am is prideful, and that is sick and messed up. Jesus had to die for my pride.
“Life is not necessarily easy for the INFJ, but they are capable of great depth of feeling and personal achievement.”
–personalitypage.com on the INFJ. I think it is not easy because the way we are wired does not make it easy – hello, attracted to sad things will bring more hardship.
“INFJs are deeply concerned about their relations with individuals as well as the state of humanity at large. They are, in fact, sometimes mistaken for extroverts because they appear so outgoing and are so genuinely interested in people — a product of the Feeling function they most readily show to the world. On the contrary, INFJs are true introverts, who can only be emotionally intimate and fulfilled with a chosen few from among their long-term friends, family, or obvious “soul mates.” While instinctively courting the personal and organizational demands continually made upon them by others, at intervals INFJs will suddenly withdraw into themselves, sometimes shutting out even their intimates. This apparent paradox is a necessary escape valve for them, providing both time to rebuild their depleted resources and a filter to prevent the emotional overload to which they are so susceptible as inherent “givers.” As a pattern of behavior, it is perhaps the most confusing aspect of the enigmatic INFJ character to outsiders, and hence the most often misunderstood — particularly by those who have little experience with this rare type.” –typelogic.com. Okay, that was a long paragraph – but so insightful for me in light of how I have been the last few months.
And there was another quote that I found about the INFJ, but cannot find it now as I write this. So let me summarize, it went a little like this, “INFJ’s are hard to lead.” Oh my, how so many people could attest to that statement. It went on to explain that the INFJ can be led, it is just not always easy to do. Far too accurate. Sanctification needed? Yes. (Will not get on my lovely little soapbox here, but this is part of my driving force why I love my independence in singleness. Do I idolize? Yes, sadly I do. Not all the time, but I know I cling to that far more than the cross and trusting God. Work in progress. Thankful God is doing the work and enabling me by the Holy Spirit to be proactive in this fight.)
So what really got me thinking about this? Well, this morning I was reading Romans 5:1-11 because a friend who cares for my soul pointed me there. He saw how depressed I have been and wanted to offer me some hope, but more wanted to point me back to truth. The reality is as believers we will suffer this side of heaven – no way around that. It will look different for each of us. Suffering is not the end though – that is what I far too often forget. And it leaves me so defeated. I look at the non-believers and get so confused because they seem to have more joy than I do. Then it hit me this morning – that is because their joy is here and now, in the moment – so they do have joy in the moment, but it is not lasting. For believers – we have had our eyes opened to the reality of this world and see that real lasting joy is not here. Thus, I can enjoy things but they are mere shadows. Now, not all believers are depressed, in fact I would argue that we shouldn’t be – some of us are still just really learning how to rejoice in suffering (hi, prone to sad things…may be starting a few steps back on this one than the person that is king or queen of optimism…). Suffering produces endurance. That is so true – the more we go through the stronger we are. But this is not because of what we have done – it is because of what He has done for us – and what He has given us the grace and strength to walk through. Endurance produces character. And character produces hope – hope in God. Not hope in ourselves. That is where the Christian and non-Christian disagree.
These are still thoughts that are formulating, but I just had to get them out of my mind and thought I might as well share them here. If you have any thoughts, please share them. If you have anything encouraging for me – or any of the other readers, please share them. Thankful that I can be honest here (I do love fashion, but that is just a sliver of what I really think about daily. It is just a way to express my love for beautiful things…).
Happy New Year, friends!