Category Archives: Hard to Define

We All Need a Little R & R…

Everyone needs it, but it is not always easy to come by.  Why is that?  Why is our culture so driven by busyness?  The Lord gave us rest.  It is good for us.  And we need it to survive.  I am thankful that rest is mine to take as a daughter of grace – that I can come to Him when I am burdened and heavy laden, and He will give my soul rest.  Does it take away the pain or heaviness of life?  No.  But does it remind me that I am not in control, He is and He will not leave me – or any of His other children that I cannot fix but only weep with – or forsake us?  Yes.  That has been a sweet place for me to go recently.  I am thankful that we were not meant to fight this battle alone and that I get to be there for others, but it is so easy to let others burdens start really weighing me down – and that can get draining and life sucking if I let it stop there.  I need to bring those to the cross, I need to point these others to the cross – because that is what will give them comfort – not anything in and of myself.

The Perfect Combination...

I am an introvert.  So, when I am craving some refreshment, my go to is solid alone time – whether that be laying in the dark listening to loud music or going to my favorite, Spyhouse, with my portable office (aka about 5 books, Bible, journal, iPod, computer and Vogue) and getting a cup of coffee and sitting for a few hours – I get away and just be.  I try to fight for this time at least one solid chunck a week, but it is not always easy – but totally worth fighting to guard – and I say that from learning the hard way.  I am thankful for my R & R and do not care if that makes me look like less of an American because I do not have drive that keeps me going 24/7 – it keeps me from going completely insane.

What do you do to get some quality R & R?

Much love,

B

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It’s Been Too Long…

Sorry, friends!  I feel bad for neglecting you.  I have been busy with life and updating B. in the Know but failed to update here what is actually going on in my life.  The month of October flew by for me.  Probably because I was busy celebrating my birthday all month long – thanks to my wonderful friends and family for helping me stretch out the celebration and welcome in the new age of 25.  Honestly, does not feel different.  What feels different is that pretty much everything else in life has changed, so it is only fitting that my age changed, too – right?! 

I am keeping busy at work – in fact I have even gotten put on a new project where I am doing a lot more – I am the Fairview Connect Education Coordinator – sounds important, doesn’t it?!  I am quickly learning it is rather important – I do not know if they really want to be giving me this much control, but hey it is fun and challenging which makes work so much more enjoyable.  I think my perspective on work has also changed due to the help of Mr. Tim Keller as I read through and study Gospel in Life for small group.  I was seeing that I had an apathetic outlook on my job because it deals with the present and not so much the eternal, so I was failing at seeing its significance -but Keller has helped me see that I was having a very small view of work.  I am called to do this job to the glory of God – how do I know that?  God calls us to do everything to His glory and He has provided this job for me – therefore, I am right where He wants me.  So, I want to do my job well and see that it does have significance (I mean, I am in charge of making sure doctors, nurses and really the whole clinic is trained…for about 70 clinics…big task and important that they know how to do their job).

Something a little silly, but it is the simple things in life…I have a cube and I love that!  Seriously.  Though, it is looking a little bare at this point in time, so I need to spice it up a bit.  Anyone have some good ideas as to how to beautify a cube?  I would love suggestions.  It cannot be too extremem seeing as how I do share the cube with another woman, but she is open to me adding a little character to my side.  This is what it looks like thus far…

Very bare cube...

Outside of work and celebrating my birthday, October was filled with a lot of Theta activities (guess that is bound to happen with being on two Theta boards and in a Theta book club), intellectual discussions with friends, my “niece” turning two and styling her with skinnies and sparkly shoes, and a lot of reading.  It is funny how as I have gotten older that has really become one of my favorite things to do – so restful and refreshing.

Example of how many books I read at once...

Well, I better get going but please don’t forget to leave suggestions for my cube!

Much love,

B

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Peace…

Earlier this summer I read The Mortification of Sin by John Owen.  It was a wonderful book in the sense that it made you come to grips with your own sin and the importance of fighting against your sin the is waging war against your soul.  However, it was not the most encouraging book you may ever read.  Though, I would highly recommend it for a believer desiring to grow in their understanding of sin – but read it with someone else so you can process through it together and remind each other of the gospel as you walk through it.

After reading that my soul was in dire need to read a book that was straight gospel.  To remind me of the saving work that Jesus Christ did on the cross for my sinful self – and to remember that I am justified at the cross.  It is finished.  So, what did I read?  The Everlasting Righteousness by Horatius Bonar.

I just finished reading this wonderful book today.  It ministered to my soul so much.  Almost every page has things underlined or starred or notes next to something.  It stirred my thoughts.  It helped me understand the gospel at a deeper level.  But most importantly, it was a shadow that pointed me back to Jesus Christ and made me fall more in love with him.  I feel like I could share so many different quotes with you, but I am just going to post one (for now at least…), and it will be from the last chapter since that is the most current on my mind…

“The life of the justified should be a peaceful one.  Being justified by faith, we have peace with God, – the God of peace, and the God of all grace.  The world’s storms have not been stilled, nor our skies brightened, nor our enemies swept away; but the peace of God has come in and taken possession of the soul.” (page 194)

I love that whole quote, but especially the third sentence.  It reminds me a lot of 2 Corinthians 4:8-9, 16-18: “We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed…So we do not lost heart.  Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day.  For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen.  For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.”  That passage in scripture and the quote both leave me smiling – even when tears may be streaming down my face as a result of the pain of this world and current circumstances – because they give me hope and remind me that one day I will be with Jesus in Heaven and that will be amazing.  And another thing that is sweet is that he knows the pain with me – I am not alone in it.  These truths give my soul peace in the middle of the storm.

Anyone else read The Everlasting Righteousness – what is one of your favorite quotes?

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Little Break, Please…

Do you ever feel like you would just like a little break from life?  Or maybe not even all of life, but part of it?  I know I do and I know that it is just not that simple.  Even when a “break” is given it only makes coming back that much harder.  So, where does that leave us?  In my good moments, it leaves me yearning to be with Jesus in Heaven.  And if I am honest, at my worst, it leaves me wanting to isolate myself from everything, crawl into bed and sleep for a very long time.  That is a scary place to be.  Very lonely.  It is so easy to get lost in my thoughts and introspection and start believing lies telling me to give up hope.  Thankfully, I have yet to be left there.  The Lord always meets me where I am and brings me out and restores my hope.  The hard part is it does not always look the same – there is no formula I can follow to know when it will be all better again.  Guess that is where trust comes in hand – thankful to not have to trust in myself, but rather trust in something outside of myself – Jesus Christ.

If I could just take a break this is where I would want to go (and often do go in my mind when I close my eyes and need a place that feels a little more peaceful then my current location)…

A field to frolic in with sun shining on my face...

Another field to lay in or climb the trees...

Where would you go to take a little break?

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Promises…

Do you ever have those moments where you know something, but then you are reading about it, thinking about it, or talking about it and something new clicks – and it is as if you are understanding it for the first time all over again?!  I love moments like that.  And yesterday, I had the privilege of having one of those moments. 

So, we all know that God makes promises and keeps them, right?  I mean I have grown up knowing that, even before I was a Christian I knew “God keeps promises – that is why there is a rainbow after the storm.”  After I became a believer almost six years ago, I learned in a new way that God keeps promises – and actually started believing that.  Yesterday I was reading in a book for my small group about the gospel for life by Tim Keller and he was talking, just briefly, about God being a keeping God – and keeping promises.  It was like a ton of bricks just hit me – God really does keep promises.  He is makes promises and He really keeps them.  That means when He says He began a good work in me and will bring it to completion on the day of Christ Jesus (Philippians 1:6) – He really will do that.  He makes broad promises, but He also makes personal promises to me.

It is funny how such a simple truth can become so sweet.  I realized I had a twisted view of promises because I live in a world that is fallen and broken.  I am used to people making promises and not following through, I mean aren’t we all?  I had become calloused, assuming the worst – but yesterday the Lord broke in to my hard heart and reminded me He will never make me a promise He is not going to keep.  Nothing extremely profound, but oh so sweet.  Thankful I can trust the Lord and the promises He gives us…

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Working Woman…

So, I am officially a full time working woman.  I thought it would be weirder than this to transition to the corporate world after being on staff with a college ministry for 3+ years, but it really is not.  It feels right.  It feels normal.  Almost like I have been doing this forever, which is strange since I have only being coming to the office for one week.  I like it, I think.  I am getting adjusted to less sleep – sadly I have been averaging six hours a night, not sure how long I will be able to survive on that, but for now it works.  I am getting adjusted to wearing business clothes rather than my hipster clothes (I just change after work into more B clothes) – best part: wearing heels daily.  Couldn’t really do that on the campus, just not practical.  Coffee is also a huge staple in my daily routine.  So glad I am able to bring that daily stapple into this next season of my life. 

B working. Notice Venti Soy Latte...delicious!

 I am thankful to be able to listen to music and sermons while I am working.  They serve me by helping keep me awake, thinking, engaged in reality and really meditate on truth.  It is so easy to let my mind wonder to useless things, or the future (my default as little Miss Foresightful) and cause myself anxiety or to be in la-la land, neither of which are helpful and really stem out of my sinful heart – so anything that helps lead me to the cross while I work I am a fan of.  I am already seeing that I am prone to be a work-aholic, not good.  I am still learning, but one thing I know for sure is that I need to be better at rest – and I need to fight to protect my time to rest and just be with the Lord.  By no means to I have life figured out, and I certainly do not have life as a working woman figured out but I am trying to learn.  Harder than it looks, yet at the same time easier than I thought…

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Job?! I Think So…

So, as many of you, if not all of you, know I have been applying and applying for jobs.  Then, one day back in July a job sort of just fell in my lap.  It was not my dream job, but at least it gave me some part time work that could become full time if I was interested (and of course if I did the part time work well).  Well, a month and a half later, I cannot deny the fact that it is an amazing opportunity any longer.  It is not a realm I ever foresaw myself working in (doing IT type work in the medical field), but I am going to give it a try.  I get to use my analytical skills (which I love being able to do), as well as relational (since I will be eventually training others and in the meantime just getting to know my new coworkers).  Is it the most creative thing ever?  No, but maybe that is good that I will get to do creative on the side – keep it refreshing the way it has been the last few years, a break and release from work.  So, Lord willing, I will be diving in next week to this thing so many people like to call the “real world” and I am really excited.  I am excited to have a job provided for me in an economy that has a rising unemployment rate.  I am excited to try something new – who knows, I could really love it.  It does not mean I cannot love fashion anymore, I just get to keep enjoying it instead of it becoming work – which may end up being a huge blessing in the long run.

I do not know where I will be in a year, but from what I know this current year I am living I am here in Minneapolis and have a job that is a whole new world to me.  I am learning what it means to walk by faith in a whole new way outside of the protective “nest” that CO was for me (and it was so good – but it is so good for me to learn to walk with Christ in another context), and so far – I have loved it.  Not in a way that I look back and think I am so much better off now, but in a way where I can joyfully look back and love the last six years of my life, but at the same time look ahead and get excited about where I am currently and where He is taking me.  THAT IS A HUGE ANSWER TO PRAYER!  No bitterness, no regret, maybe some uncertainties, but overall content and excited to keep walking forward taking it one day at a time.

So does this mean I have job?!  I think so…

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