Monthly Archives: November 2012

Feeling 22…

So, I am a huge lover of music.  There is something about it that helps me express deeper emotions – something I can resonate with.  I love when I am listening to a song and can feel like, “Yes – you get me.”  It is nice to know you are not the only one to ever feel that way.  Recently, I have been listening to Taylor Swift’s new album Red.  She gets single women – probably because she is one.  Maybe I seem to relate to ever song because not too long ago I went through a really crappy break up and was hurt in a way I never had experienced before, and maybe it is just I am a single 27-year old female who wants to be loved and adored.  Either way – Taylor we are resonating, and I don’t think we are alone on that. 
 
Seriously, every song – the order of the songs even is perfect.  I personally love that first we have I Almost Do (a song about wanting to call and go back to your ex) followed directly by We are Never Getting Back Together (rather self-explanatory) because those two together, in that order – oh yep I know exactly who those two make me think of – and I am sure that the majority of you could also probably do the same.  And then, there are all the fabulous rebound songs, too – hello 22 you nailed it.  No matter what your age, if you are rebounding you are feeling 22.
 
The best lyric from 22 I think is, “You look like bad news.  I gotta have you, I gotta have you.” Oh yes, been there – done that. Why do we do this to ourselves?  Women – why do we acknowledge that, “Yes – you are a bad idea.  Thus, I want you.”???  What is so deeply built into us that it sucks us in every time.  Why are we unable to learn from the past?  The best is when we let the same guy draw us in time and time again.  It is just absurd.  Right?! 
 
What does the bad boy have to offer?  Why do we not like the idea of the safe guy?  Believer or non-believer – it is an issue.  It is an issue that I thought would go away eventually after becoming a Christian – but nope.  Eight years later, still an issue – and it is not getting any easier as I get older and all the “safe” or at least safer options my age are dwindling – but those bad options, they seem to becoming up everywhere.  Are these guys okay with being the bad idea?? 
 
The guys with the more rough on the edges and bad boy feel to them often are the dark and mysterious type that is confident.  Those things are not bad – in fact, I personally am praying that if the Lord would have me married that my husband would be those things – at first (hoping the mystery part would go away as I get to know him) – but also, he would be a man who loves Jesus.  In my full resting in the gospel moments I am there – I want that – I trust God with where He has me.  But, in my weak moments when I am lost in the moment and not thinking big picture and this really cute guy just asks so nicely and then is saying everything I want to hear – yup, I’m done for. 
 
So do we stay hopeless?  Is this an ongoing cycle until my earthly Hosea or Boaz comes along to rescue me?  NO.  Or at least is doesn’t have to be.  It is not a fight that is won in one day; rather, it is a daily fight.  A daily fight to keep trusting Jesus, keep leaning and depending on him.  You cannot do it on your own – but the good news is you are not expected to do it on your own either. 

I certainly do not have all the answers figured out on this one.  And am still wrestling with it personally – but I just had to get some of my thoughts out I have been thinking about recently.  If any of you have thoughts please share – and not just women, I always welcome a man’s perspective (okay – those of you that know me well know that I do not always welcome a man’s perspective – but I am growing in that and welcoming it right now 🙂 )

Much love,

B

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