I cannot believe it has been over a year since I came here and shared thoughts. I have been busy over at B. in the Know and have a fun time there, but it is far more at a surface level than what I am really thinking about and learning. A lot has happened in a year – as one would expect. A year ago I was still trying to decide where I wanted to move, and yes, it has taken me a year to decide BUT I finally have.
I spent all this time praying and pursuing options on both coasts, but started to realize I was half-heartedly open to staying. I would pray, “Lord, if you want me to stay, make it clear and change my heart…BUT I really want to move, so please let that be the case.” I was praying that way because I knew in my mind that I needed to be open to what the Lord had for me, but really I was so closed off to the idea of Minneapolis. Why?! The honest truth, it wasn’t sexy – it seemed to safe. Was I just staying because I was afraid of the unknown? Or was I desperately trying to leave because I am so darn independent, yearning to be different and blaze my own trail? Now, both are extremes, but if you know me, I talk in extremes – just helps me flesh out my thoughts even if they are far more tame. I traveled on a few trips to explore options, and every time felt an uneasiness…my intuition started kicking in and telling me slow down and listen. Do not make this decision on your own. So, after a few times of that (because I am far too stubborn and thankfully, God is extremely patient with me and persistent) I finally stopped – and listened. And even more, started to admit to myself that maybe I didn’t have an answer because I was afraid of the answer. I started to see – I love my job. A lot. So much that I do not dread Monday mornings, but rather enjoy them. I love my city. There is so much culture here and endless options of things to do and explore. I love my friends – they are family to me and when I think about doing life with them, I get really excited. I finally have relationships with my family. So, why am I wanting to leave again?! After some time, I decided to accept the answer it seemed the Lord was very clearly laying out for me – He is calling me to be in Minneapolis right now. And, more than accept, I am excited.
I may know Minneapolis, but there is so much that I still do not know. There are still adventures ahead for me. I mean, the newest being the process of buying a house – talk about learning dependence on the Lord in a whole new way. Dang. It has been hard, but oh so good (guess that is a phrase for life, and not just beach project…). And then, there have also been some other new things as of late that have been increasing my need for dependence on Jesus…but we can discuss those at a later date 🙂
So, friends. Here I am. A beloved daughter of the King. Called to Minneapolis who greatly wants to see my coworkers, yogi friends, and neighbors come to know this sweet Savior. The harvest is plentiful, and I am excited to be a laborer in this city. I am excited to trust Jesus as I put some roots down. Who ever thought they would hear this little free-spirit talk about putting roots down and making a commitment longer than two years?! This is a big step.
Does commitment freak you out? How do you walk through that?