Do you ever have those moments where you know something, but then you are reading about it, thinking about it, or talking about it and something new clicks – and it is as if you are understanding it for the first time all over again?! I love moments like that. And yesterday, I had the privilege of having one of those moments.
So, we all know that God makes promises and keeps them, right? I mean I have grown up knowing that, even before I was a Christian I knew “God keeps promises – that is why there is a rainbow after the storm.” After I became a believer almost six years ago, I learned in a new way that God keeps promises – and actually started believing that. Yesterday I was reading in a book for my small group about the gospel for life by Tim Keller and he was talking, just briefly, about God being a keeping God – and keeping promises. It was like a ton of bricks just hit me – God really does keep promises. He is makes promises and He really keeps them. That means when He says He began a good work in me and will bring it to completion on the day of Christ Jesus (Philippians 1:6) – He really will do that. He makes broad promises, but He also makes personal promises to me.
It is funny how such a simple truth can become so sweet. I realized I had a twisted view of promises because I live in a world that is fallen and broken. I am used to people making promises and not following through, I mean aren’t we all? I had become calloused, assuming the worst – but yesterday the Lord broke in to my hard heart and reminded me He will never make me a promise He is not going to keep. Nothing extremely profound, but oh so sweet. Thankful I can trust the Lord and the promises He gives us…
So, I am officially a full time working woman. I thought it would be weirder than this to transition to the corporate world after being on staff with a college ministry for 3+ years, but it really is not. It feels right. It feels normal. Almost like I have been doing this forever, which is strange since I have only being coming to the office for one week. I like it, I think. I am getting adjusted to less sleep – sadly I have been averaging six hours a night, not sure how long I will be able to survive on that, but for now it works. I am getting adjusted to wearing business clothes rather than my hipster clothes (I just change after work into more B clothes) – best part: wearing heels daily. Couldn’t really do that on the campus, just not practical. Coffee is also a huge staple in my daily routine. So glad I am able to bring that daily stapple into this next season of my life.
B working. Notice Venti Soy Latte...delicious!
I am thankful to be able to listen to music and sermons while I am working. They serve me by helping keep me awake, thinking, engaged in reality and really meditate on truth. It is so easy to let my mind wonder to useless things, or the future (my default as little Miss Foresightful) and cause myself anxiety or to be in la-la land, neither of which are helpful and really stem out of my sinful heart – so anything that helps lead me to the cross while I work I am a fan of. I am already seeing that I am prone to be a work-aholic, not good. I am still learning, but one thing I know for sure is that I need to be better at rest – and I need to fight to protect my time to rest and just be with the Lord. By no means to I have life figured out, and I certainly do not have life as a working woman figured out but I am trying to learn. Harder than it looks, yet at the same time easier than I thought…
So, as many of you, if not all of you, know I have been applying and applying for jobs. Then, one day back in July a job sort of just fell in my lap. It was not my dream job, but at least it gave me some part time work that could become full time if I was interested (and of course if I did the part time work well). Well, a month and a half later, I cannot deny the fact that it is an amazing opportunity any longer. It is not a realm I ever foresaw myself working in (doing IT type work in the medical field), but I am going to give it a try. I get to use my analytical skills (which I love being able to do), as well as relational (since I will be eventually training others and in the meantime just getting to know my new coworkers). Is it the most creative thing ever? No, but maybe that is good that I will get to do creative on the side – keep it refreshing the way it has been the last few years, a break and release from work. So, Lord willing, I will be diving in next week to this thing so many people like to call the “real world” and I am really excited. I am excited to have a job provided for me in an economy that has a rising unemployment rate. I am excited to try something new – who knows, I could really love it. It does not mean I cannot love fashion anymore, I just get to keep enjoying it instead of it becoming work – which may end up being a huge blessing in the long run.
I do not know where I will be in a year, but from what I know this current year I am living I am here in Minneapolis and have a job that is a whole new world to me. I am learning what it means to walk by faith in a whole new way outside of the protective “nest” that CO was for me (and it was so good – but it is so good for me to learn to walk with Christ in another context), and so far – I have loved it. Not in a way that I look back and think I am so much better off now, but in a way where I can joyfully look back and love the last six years of my life, but at the same time look ahead and get excited about where I am currently and where He is taking me. THAT IS A HUGE ANSWER TO PRAYER! No bitterness, no regret, maybe some uncertainties, but overall content and excited to keep walking forward taking it one day at a time.
So does this mean I have job?! I think so…
Sorry it has been so long since I have posted anything. The last couple of weeks have been crazy, which you can read some about in a previous post of Crashing Down. On top of that I moved and have been unpacking like crazy (and purging because I have way too much stuff), fighting the plague (yesterday I was in bed all day except two hours, which is very unlike me, hence today I am up, showered, dressed and out and about, but totally not feeling 100% – that’s what DayQuil is for, right?!), and dealing with more family issues. What have I learned?
I do today and that’s it.
I trust God – He knows what He is doing.
I hurt when I need to hurt, but I do not dwell there.
I cannot let other people (even my family) dictate how I am doing because I cannot change any of them.
I can only love them and pray for grace to do that and trust the Lord to work.
I am learning how to rejoice in all circumstances – when there are extreme hurts, it makes the joys more exciting – which is fun. And though nothing over the top has happened to cause extreme joy, I have still been in a rather great mood and feeling rather hopeful. God hears prayers, and that is keeping me praying and praising Him for His faithfulness to me.
I have amazing friends who love me dearly and I am very thankful to God for them. They are my family and I would not trade them for anything. It is crazy to think I was going to be in CA right now, and I just do not know how I would walk through any of this without them – and if that would have been what happened God’s grace would have been sufficient to do it, but I am glad I am not without them. They remind me I am not alone – they remind me of truth when I am struggling to do it on my own. They do not point me to themselves, but to Christ – so thankful for that.
These are just a few of the things I have learned in the last couple weeks. I am sure there will be more thoughts to come that I am learning. I like learning. And I like sharing what I am learning. So thanks for listening…now go do today and only today…
Well, yesterday was the big move. Prior to that I had a good week of packing – and a lot of people were confused, and asking me, “You’re still packing?!” And my answer was always, “Yes.” Well, yesterday when I got a handful of my guy friends to help me load a whole moving truck (which they thought I could never fill and boy did I prove them wrong), they suddenly began to understand why it took me so long to pack. The sad part, I actually did purge a lot of stuff. Now, as I begin the process of unpacking and organizing I am continuing to purge some more. The reality is when you live some place for nearly four years, you are going to accumulate a lot of stuff – and you start to get furniture to fill the place up. At least now in my new place I have a lot of the furniture I need and that which I don’t have, my roommates do! I will post some pictures when we get a little more settled. I am loving my little gray room already – it is the perfect color and now I am making it B. We do not have internet yet, so I apologize for the lack of posts – once life gets in a little more order I will be back updating you on life and learning…thanks for being with me in the big move…