Crashing down…

Do you ever feel like sometimes life comes crashing down?  What do you run to in those moments?  Thankfully, by God’s grace alone, 48 hours ago when I really did feel like everything was coming crashing down God met me and reminded me – He will get me through this, too – He always does.  I do not know how things will work out this time – or if anything will really ever change, but I refuse to let the devil win and leave me feeling defeated.  By now I am sure you are wondering what on earth I am speaking of.  The details are not super important, and for the sake of others I will not spell them out here, but you could say there is some (yes more than one thing) family issues that hit me both on Tuesday evening.  I may have seen this coming, but no matter how much you prepare yourself for bad things, when they happen they still hurt.  I am not in control of the situation and this time I am extremely relieved to not be in control.  The last 48 hours have made me cry out in desperation for the Lord for my own walk with Him – to not get bitter or frustrated that I have a few more things to log in the saga of family drama, fight feelings of loneliness, and also for my family – because I am clearly not the only one hurting in this.  Days like these make me thankful I am not upheld by my own strength, but rather I have a savior who is my dear friend who carries me through this, a Father who loves me and hurts with me, and a powerful God who knows exactly what is happening and has given me promises to cling to as I walk through this…what is meant for evil, God will use it for good (from Gen 50:20)…”And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good,” (Rom 8:28a)…”The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. ‘The Lord is my portion,’ says my soul, ‘therefore I will hope in him.'” (Lam 3:22-24)…these are a few of the promises I am clinging to as I walk through a harder season.  I am learning how to hurt and morn, but still have joy in the Lord.  It is funny how, by the grace of God alone, believing the gospel is real and remembering that my hope is not in the things of this world that with things in life crashing down I can still fight for joy and trust that tomorrow will be a new day and the Lord will not leave me or forsake me…I am His beloved and He is mine…so bring it on, come crashing down world…you are not the dictator of my life and especially not my joy…

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