Still learning…

Some days are easier than others to rest in the control of God’s.  Some days I love that God is in control and others, well I more try to wrestle with God and I am sure you can guess who wins.  Tonight I have been wrestling.  I do not know what to do with my life, or what God wants to do with my life.  I feel no sense of direction and in a fuzzy blob of disorder leading no where besides insignificance.  That is okay that I do not know where I am going because God does and He will get me there.  I was reading tonight out of a devotional and this is what it said:

“You will never be in control of your life circumstances, but you can relax and trust in My control.  Instead of striving for a predictable, safe lifestyle, seek to know Me in greater depth and breadth.  I long to make your life a glorious adventure, but you must stop clinging to old ways.  I am always doing something new within My beloved ones.  Be on the lookout for all that I have prepared for you.” -written from God to you, or in this case me.

It broke me.  In a good way, a very good way.  Gave me hope.  It is funny – I do not want a predictable life and that is why I wanted to move away, but God shut the door and now I am here (until further notice) for my unpredictable adventure.  It is going to be okay.  He will provide and lead me right where He wants me.  Just wish He would give me a little insight…guess it is all a part of still learning who is in control in this whole thing…


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