Monthly Archives: July 2010

Where I Belong…

I sometimes, and by sometimes I really mean often – even daily, get on these kicks where I will find a song that just does something to me – and I listen to it over and over.  I play a game I say where I see how long it takes to get in to my Top 25 Played in iTunes – but really it is because the song helps me feel a little more alive.  It is a sweet shadow of heaven for me.  It really is an indescribable feeling – maybe you know what I mean and have felt it, but for one that does not love feelings all the time this is one feeling I love and invite to come as often as it pleases.  I am not one to sit around and listen to Christian music because I think a lot of it is cheesy and does not share the same musical talent of a lot of secular artists – but my paradigm has been shifting recently.  The reality is that a song that has amazing truth in it creates an even deeper feeling than the song that just has an amazing chord progression.  The three songs (because I cannot decide which one of the three so I went with all three) that have been on repeat recently are “Where I Belong” by Cory Asbury, “Revelation Song” by Phillips, Craig and Dean, and “Lead Me to the Cross” by Brooke Fraser (HIllsong United).  These three songs help me worship my Savior more and desire to draw closer to him.  I know my faith is not about a feeling or emotional experience – but God did give us feelings and emotions and they can be used to help us feel more alive in Him and feel more intimate in our relationship with Him.  Sure, it sounds a little charismatic, but it is good for this intellectual lady to not just know God in my head, but also feel Him in my heart and soul.  I am His beloved and He is mine and that is right where I belong…

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Taking Steps Forward…

I officially have a place to live…PTL!  It is a cute apartment (bottom half of a duplex) in the Powderhorn Neighborhood.  I am so thankful to have one thing set in place.  I am so excited to start decorating – I love letting my inner interior designer come out and play!  I have been looking at some of my favorite blogs (That’s Chic; coco+kelly; Well Worn; {this is glamorous}; Destined to Design) for inspiration to inspire the new look of my room (only inserting my current things revamped a bit…that has been a fun project recently, too).  Here are a couple of the pics that I am using for inspiration…

Now, I can focus on the job search…though I am learning that this is a lot of waiting, too.  I apply and apply and now I wait for the companies to review my application and pray I get some interviews.  Places I have applied and get really excited about working for include:  MIA (Minneapolis Institute of Arts); The Ordway; Aveda Corp.; SoHo Exchange; Priscilla of Boston; Regis Corp.; PDI Ninth House and few more… Basically, I would love to work some place that is a creative environment, but I still get to be administrative.  So, praying the Lord would provide a job at one of these places allowing me to do that.  In the meantime, I will continue taking steps forward in faith, trusting the Lord to provide as He always does and continues to do…grateful to be His daughter that He deeply cares for and loves…

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O Canada…

This past weekend I had the privilege of going to Canada with a few of my sorority sisters from college.  I love to travel, especially internationally, and here was a cheap little get away out of the States!  Ha – sure it was not very extravagant, but it was exactly what I needed.  We left Thursday afternoon and came back on Sunday – and it was days filled with sun, laying out to soak up that sun, go for a couple swims (brr…so cold), and read.  Ah it was glorious – I got to read so much and loved every moment of it!  I finished a book (Eat Pray Love…wanted to read it before the movie came out), got caught up in Vogue (the best and true fashion magazine that I love reading each month…and yes I read it cover to cover), time in the Word and meditate on truth, and start a new book (Girls in Trucks…I also joined a book club and this is our book this month)!  I was so thankful to have time to read and enjoy the nature around me.  It was also so good to get caught up with my Theta gals – I love those girls and I know I am always bound to laugh really hard when I am with them.  It was a great break from the house hunting and job searching.  But, now I am back and back hunting for both – but thankful to have a much better perspective this week than I did last week – that is the grace of God and nothing else.  O Canada, thankful the Lord used an escape to you to refresh and refuel me…

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One Step at a Time…

That is what I am learning.  I need to take one step at a time and trust the Lord’s leading.  It can be draining to keep searching for what exactly I am supposed to be doing, and it may feel like an ambiguous hazy blob I am – but I know it is not that way for God.  It is funny how life’s practical things such as a living situation and job search can reveal so much about where I have really been putting my security.  Convicting.  Transitions seem to bring to the surface areas of self-reliance, and as much as I would like some stability as the next person, I am thankful to have my world shaken up a bit so I can learn more dependence on my heavenly Father.

Proverbs 16:9 is always true, but is a very real reality for me right now and is bringing me comfort, “The heart of man plans his ways, but the LORD establishes his steps.”  So thankful that is a promise I can cling to today, and always.

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Still learning…

Some days are easier than others to rest in the control of God’s.  Some days I love that God is in control and others, well I more try to wrestle with God and I am sure you can guess who wins.  Tonight I have been wrestling.  I do not know what to do with my life, or what God wants to do with my life.  I feel no sense of direction and in a fuzzy blob of disorder leading no where besides insignificance.  That is okay that I do not know where I am going because God does and He will get me there.  I was reading tonight out of a devotional and this is what it said:

“You will never be in control of your life circumstances, but you can relax and trust in My control.  Instead of striving for a predictable, safe lifestyle, seek to know Me in greater depth and breadth.  I long to make your life a glorious adventure, but you must stop clinging to old ways.  I am always doing something new within My beloved ones.  Be on the lookout for all that I have prepared for you.” -written from God to you, or in this case me.

It broke me.  In a good way, a very good way.  Gave me hope.  It is funny – I do not want a predictable life and that is why I wanted to move away, but God shut the door and now I am here (until further notice) for my unpredictable adventure.  It is going to be okay.  He will provide and lead me right where He wants me.  Just wish He would give me a little insight…guess it is all a part of still learning who is in control in this whole thing…

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Control…err no…

Well, being back in Minneapolis has been different than expected.  Life seems to keep changing. It is funny, no matter how much I try to plan God always seems to have a different plan.  That is okay, actually better than okay – that is good and best for me.  Now, I start walking forward in what seems to be the way He is leading me, which is not what I have been planning for the last few months.  However, I did say I was holding my plans to move open-handedly.  For now, He seems to want to take me on an adventure here, which feels like more of an adventure since I have nothing planned to stay.  It will be an adventure – it always is…

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